Today is my day off. In the Fall and the Spring I teach at a community college; illustration and 2D design, but during the summer every year I need to find an odd job to get me through. This year it has been a job in sales at an art gallery in the touristy burb of Lower Kennebunk, ME, just over the bridge from Kennebunkport. My job is what it is. I've been working fairly long hours and I have nearly an hour commute every day. It is a serious shell shock from 12 contact hours a week and preparing classes in my underwear after my baby, Austin is off to sleep.
But today, today is my day off. I woke up a little later than usual, about 7:30 and decided to go to the Food Co-op around the corner for some eggs and bacon. The bacon was a surprise for my wife. I hardly ever pursue meat products in my daily meals. While Austin and I were at the grocery store, I like to give Courtney, my wife, a break from watching him whenever possible, we started chatting with Idriss, an associate at the Co-op. He told me that he had just watched a movie last night. The movie was about family. The father worked nearly all the time and hardly ever had any time for his family. One night the father came home and the boy was not in bed where he felt that he should have been. The man asked his son why he was not in bed. The son did not answer. He did, however, ask his father, "How much do you make an hour?" His father responded, "12 dollars." The son then asked if he could borrow $6. His father ignored his plea, suggested the son go to bed, and went downstairs, but his sons request kept nagging at him. His son had never asked him for money before, he thought. So the father caved, walked back upstairs, and gave his son the six dollars. Immediately the boy reached into a pocket and pulled out another six dollars. The father was exasperated. "Why did you ask me for money if you already had the six dollars?" The boy responded, "Here is $12, will you hang out with me for an hour?"
I am not sure what movie this is from and I don't know if I have the actual order of events or dialogue down exactly, but that story hit me like a ton of bricks. You tell yourself that you need to keep working, that you need to make more money, that you need to be a million things that maybe you are and maybe you aren't. I am many things, but I can't forget that amongst those things, one of the things I am, is a dad.
I have a few things on my mind about parenting, about being a dad, that I feel like I would like to get out there. I am sure that there are other dads out there who feel the same. So I'm going to set up here for a while. Feel free to comment back, or don't. This is just an attempt at solidarity from another man who spends the majority of his time working at the grind.
